deborah (monkey_momma) wrote in momandpops,
deborah
monkey_momma
momandpops

just because it's funny

my kid cracks me up. sunday's conversation with the kid. A=him, D=me. remember, everything i said was to inform a 4 year old without giving him too much information to share with other kids.

A: can god be killed?

D: no. he's bigger than everything. he made everything. he can't be killed.

A: what did god make?

D: the universe, the earth, the animals, the people...

A: how does he make people?

D: he lets mommies and daddies make babies and puts the babies in the mommy's tummy.

A: how do the babies get made?

D: the mommy has an egg and the daddy gives the mommy a seed to put inside the egg, then the egg breaks into lots and lots of pieces and turns into a little tiny baby that grows until it's big enough to get out.

A: how does the baby get out?

D: after living in the mommy's tummy for 9 months, the baby pushes on the mommy's tummy from the inside and let's the mommy know he's ready to get out, so then she goes to the hospital and the doctor takes the baby out.

A: how does the doctor get the baby out?

D: we talked about this before. there are two ways. sometimes the doctor cuts a hole in the mommy's tummy, takes the baby out, then sews the hole back up. we talked about the other way before, remember?

A: when they baby comes out down there (points between his legs)?

D: yes

A: does the doctor sew the mommy's penis back on after he takes the baby out?

D: sigh... mommies don't have penises. only boys have penises.

A: then how do girls go potty if they don't have penises?

D: they have other parts.

A: do monsters have penises?

D: i suppose.

A: what about girl monsters?

D: no.

A: do robots have penises?

D: probably not. they don't go to the bathroom.

A: the robot on jimmy neutron went to the bathroom.

D: remember... we talked about how what happens in cartoons isn't always what happens in real life?

A: i'll ask david if robots have penises.
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